The Ticking Time Bomb

Long time no blog huh? Well this is the begining of  my blog-a-thon. I have had a lot on my mind and my heart lately. And a lot has happened today. So I will most likely blog until all my feelings are laid bare. This first entry was started before my emotional day and is based on the biggest picture of my life with no zoom.


My biological clock has been clicking so damn loud it sounds like the alarm is going off. Snooze only last so long and then its back again. According to Wikipedia the term biological clock is based on the correlation between a woman's age and her fertility. Women reach their peak fertility in their early to mid twenties. Well my mid twenties are approaching and they are approaching a little too quickly for my tastes. Now while I don't consider 24 mid twenties the same can not be said for 25.

My fears are linked to this biological clock theory. I am a firm believer that getting married takes time. True love pass the infatuation stage must stand the test of time. Well as I am on the verge of my 24th year even if I found the man I am going to marry this year, realisticly and optimally I would not start trying to get pregant till around 28 at the very earliest. So when I call myself old I am really saying I am too old to not have more of this life and love stuff figured out. Perhaps if my career or other areas of life were going better I would not care so much. But they are not. Everything is a glaring failure.

There is no chance that I will have a baby out of wedlock despite the increasing occurances of such. With media shows making 16 year old moms celebrities, waiting to have children until after marriage is becoming less and less of a societal norm. However times have changed. Women are no longer getting married as soon as their menstral cycle starts. We are going to school and having careers. There has been much debate on wheter women can have it all ( children and a career). If you are successful enough you can invest more money into assisting getting preggers. This mountain of student loans that sucks me dry every single month informs me that will not be an option for me.

On the topic of times changing. In the past it was more common to wait until wedlock to have sex. Possibily now majority of people have sex way before marriage. As I previously stated, in the past people got married at much younger ages. So it can be infered that back then people were 16 and pregnant and married. I have even heard people say they would not marry someone they had not had sex with. In the media being a virgin is stigmatized as being a prude if you're a woman or a pimply nerdy geek if you're a man. How does this relate to my biological clock? Well I haven't had sexual intercourse. I don't consider myself a virgin but I haven't ever done anything that could possibly result in offspring. I don't know my exact reasons. However I suspect its a combination of the fear of the unknown and the desire to only have sexual intercourse with one man ever. Call me crazy, because I probaly am.

Fact Vs Fiction

While watching Grey's anatomy last night ( I don't have cable so I watch online at random times) I was hit with a startling realization. The media creates a fictitious ideas of how relationships works. These images are destructive towards having a real relationship in Today's world. On Grey's Anatomy Season 9 Episode 12 one of the doctor's was making out in the ambulance with a paramedic when the paramedic stopped her and asked her out on a date because he wanted to see her outside the ambulance. FICTION. In real life the guy would have just kept the intense make out sessions going. Guys use dates to impress women to get them to make out with them. If he is already getting some action he won't go the extra mile. FACT. Then I went on to realize that the main premise of the show is even worse.  The head of neurology at a prominent hospital marries his one night stand who is not only a lowly intern when they sleep together but also bat shit crazy. FICTION. While these shows are fun to watch they are subconsciously affecting how we view relationships.





Disney is the biggest enemy of all to healthy modern relationships. With the possible exception of Mulan ( which was based on a true story) all the princess stories involve a man going though breathe defying odds to win the girl. A few of them [Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, Princess and the Frog, Rapunzel] ok a lot of them even involve the bad guy good girl set up. Where the man is changed by the woman's love for him into someone good and respectable. Its no wonder women stay in abusive relationships Disney taught them that their love and goodness can change any bad boy into a good man.

 

 

The Disney Princesses are the original mean girls.

 

 

 

Another example of the bad guy being transformed into a good guy by the love of his princess comes from my all time favorite show of all time the Anime Sailor Moon. Darien was a complete ass to Serena and she fell for him..HARD. Then he magically transformed into the prince charming we all desire. Well thank you Sailor Moon because of your fictitious love story I have been equating men being assholes to me as a sign of their future love and affection you know after I change them.

 

 

 

More Like Fighting Love By Moonlight









 

 

After reading all this you probably think I hate all 3 of these things. You could not be more wrong. I just am not a fan of the brain washing it does to young impressionable girls. It sets unrealistic expectations on how a man expresses his love. It supports good girls going after bad guys while the good guys they should be with are left alone turning bitter and eventually into a bad guy. I recently read a book by a man about why mean cheat that stated most bad boys were once good boys that were screwed over by what once was a good woman who got screwed over by a good man. In other words its a vicious cycle, that I believe got its start from the media.

New Year New You?

It's that time of the year again. The first of the year. The beginning of the next adventure in your life. Every year we make resolutions to improve and better our lives. How many of us actually resolve these goals by Dec 31st? I am definitely guilty of falling short of achieving resolutions in my life. Does that mean the previous year was a failure? No! Just meant that I lost sight of what I wanted or that I put off till tomorrow what should have been done yesterday! So in the spirit of if at first you don't succeed......Here are my New Years Resolutions for 2013!

1. Become more spiritual:

This a broad resolution but I have implemeted a plan to help me achieve this already. I will read a bible verse daily. I feel ashamed to be more knowledgeable about secular matters than I am about biblical matters. It's Day 8 in the year and I am proud to say I am 8 for 8.

2. Become healthier

Again a broad resolutions. To achieve this one I will eat better, workout more, and drink less.

3. Become more professional

I am blessed to have a great job. I need to improve my professionalism to get an even better job. This will be done through reading relavent material and research.


Nobody is perfect so I am certain I will stumble and maybe even fall on my quest for improvement. But as long as I get myself back up again it can be considered a success!

Who Am I

The title of my introductory post for my new blog is "Who Am I".

Well I am someone who thinks anyone who knows the answer to that question is full of BS ( haven't decided if I will use profanity in this blog yet). I have begun to realize that truly knowing yourself is a life long journey. Every day some new unique aspect of our persona is revealed to us.

So join me for this exploration of me.

I will be blogging about life, love, food, sex, and honestly anything else my ADD (not offically diagnosed) mind comes across. I invite you to comment and discuss these topics with me.