Thursday, June 20, 2013

Robert Downing Jr ( RDJ)

After that depressing a** post I have decided to follow up with something more light hearted lol ( I am sure if any therapist are reading this post *cough cough* this is some kind of mental behavior thing that I can't seem to recall the name for).

After doing my favorite right before bed activity (surfing Pinterest) I saw this.
Seriously how do we know whose face that is?? I mean for all we see it could me my face

What's up with people's love for Robert Downing Jr.??

My boyfriend sent me an article earlier today ( that announced that RDJ has officially signed on for Avengers 2 and 3 (yay).

However no Iron Man 4. Now while this was exciting news what REALLY caught my attention were the comments from readers of the article.

This only a few there are like 50 or so more of these. People are obsessed with Robert Downey Jr. 
A subsequent Google search pulled up ( not surprisingly) a number of fan sites.
The first on the list being Robert Downing, Jr. Fan .
If BeyoncĂ© has her Beyhive the Robert Downing, Jr. definitely has whatever would be his equivalent ... IDK  The Iron Mans?
Yeah get It Dude..This must be the Mark -1.5
Me personally I'm on the fence about Mr. RDJ yeah Iron Man 1&2 were good....3 was different ( He wasn't even really an ahole and that's kinda all RDJ is known for). I don't know that I believe NO other actors could play the role. That is a little extreme. Like if this were an alternate universe I totally could see me writing this same blog about them instead of RDJ.
What's your take on the RDJ fandom?
Behind IRON bars MAN

Locked in a Barren WasteLand Turned To Stone

(I am still working on deciding how emotional and real I want to get with my blogs so don't be surprised if you see this one disappear lol)

I have a concern. What if I have nothing left to give. What if I have spent all my passion and fire on past relationships. When something upsets me in a relationship or when we have arguments I am stone. As if I have stared into the eyes of the gorgon Medusa. I don't bring up my own personal grievances or inquire about alluded grievances I myself am committing. 

Even when I am baited with things that would normally drive me bat shit crazy, I do and say nothing. Previously I would rant, rave, yell, cuss and shout. I use to gossip and vent with girlfriends and LS's (even my work family used to get a piece of the Jenna drama) . Now no one knows. Not even me what the hell is going on. I just feel emptiness when there should be ire. After a relationship of constant daily yelling and fighting maybe I have nothing left in me. Maybe we have a quota of how much we can fight or try in a relationship and mine has simply been reached. I believe that fights, arguments, discussions etc... are natural in relationships like growing pains. Of course if all you do is shutdown no compromises or understandings into your partner can be reached. Instead of empathy I've been emoting apathy...

Communication is key as they say. Without communicating I know that I can not unlock the door that leads from barren wastelands of failed relationships to the utopian paradise of a successful one.

Until then I am doomed to be locked away under stone.
How do you feel about fights in relationships?

Thursday, June 6, 2013

3 Day Cleanse and Results!

In my last woe is me blog post I mentioned that I was attempting a 3 day cleanse. Well I am proud to say I was successful! It was either not as hard as I'd always feared or I really motivated by my upcoming trip to Vegas. Here is the plan I basically followed with some minor modifications.

The plan is from


Here are the basic steps you need to take to lose 10 lbs in 3 days... or at least look like you did:

Step 1: Do a 1-day juice fast or raw diet

Step 2: Eat a low-cal, high-volume, starch-free diet

Step 3: Do some form of effective full-body exercise
Day 1
 I simply consumed water all day. For lunch I had the Bolthouse Farms Mango 32 oz. drink. My coworker told me it was a good diuretic if you drink the whole drink in one sitting.  I definitely had some interesting stomach situations the rest of that day! For dinner I cheated and had a can of the progressive light clam chowder ( the WHOLE can, shameful I know). That was a combined total of only around 800 calories. That evening I also did this 10 min cardio workout app on my iPad.
I woke up the next morning and
2lbs lighter!
Day 2
I went to the grocery on my way to work and bought some fruits and veggies for day 2 which basically is supposed to be only things you can grow or catch. For Breakfast I had a slice of watermelon. Then because I was using my lunch break to get my nails done (priorities) I simply ate baby carrots on and off through out the day. For dinner I sautĂ©ed fish with onions and peppers in some olive oil with a side of kale and onions and peppers.  Here is the kicker my coworker who has been to Vegas before mentioned how bloated he got while out in Vegas. So I used NO SALT in my cooking. The Kale was ok the fish was horrible. I appreciate salt like never before. I did my little 10 min iPad workout and.....
Day 3
Ok on this day I had a hard boiled egg for breakfast (minus the yolk YUCK!) This time lunch was skipped because again I was too busy to really eat on my lunch break. I did eat a few carrots and the last 2 slices of watermelon throughout the day tho. At the end of my shift I had another boiled egg before I got on the road to Nashville. For dinner I had a HUGE cheat and stopped a subway for a six inch sweet onion teriyaki chicken sandwich WITH CHEESE. I know super bad. And I was to tired to do my 10 min workout that night but in the morning...
So after 3 days of "cleansing" I lost a total of 6 lbs! And it was pretty easy. After I gain all this weight back pigging out in Vegas I am definitely gonna attempt it again as a jump start to losing and maintain the weight for good!

Monday, June 3, 2013

Body Image Catastrophe

I was instructed to drink this 32 oz all fruit juice in 30 mins to "flush" out my system
I am 5'6 and over 150 lbs. The heaviest I have been in my entire life. And I can NOT stand it. I obsess with how much I hate my body and yet I do very little to change it. Last October I joined a gym and lost a little over 10 lbs. Since then I steadily but surely put the weight right back on. Now 3 days until my big Vegas trip I am foolishly starving myself and doing "3 day cleansing diets".

 I know it is absurd but I just don't feel sexy. And who goes to Vegas not feeling sexy??

Bigger women claim they would kill to look like me, while at the same time I would kill to have someone else's body. It is a never ending cycle. When I was 10 lbs. lighter I was actually pleased with weight for the first time ever.

The funny thing is when I was 136 lbs. in high school I would always say I was fat! Now I can't even imagine being that small again!

Aging has not been a friend to my metabolism. But also I have become a major stress eater (and a stress drinker but we aren't talking about that). The real world is hella stressful and my coping strategy has been flawed. Instead of turning to cardio to deal with stress I have turned to carbs (mmmmmmm pasta).

I know my boyfriend, coworker, sister, mother, and others are tired of hearing me gripe and complain about my weight so now I'm turning to who ever reads my blogs. Anyone else hate their body and yet finds themselves unmotivated to lose the weight?