A Little Princess

I am watching one of my favorite movie's of all time is A Little Princess.

It reminds me of my childhood. And tonight I am feeling a bit like a child. I feel overwhelmed by my life and crave the embrace of my parents. Well I really crave them coming to my rescue and solving all my problems for me (I digress). But as I am well into adulthood that is not likely to happen.

Moving is proving to be extremely challenging and in no way form or fashion can I afford to pay movers. Two Men and a Truck quoted me over $1000 for a one bedroom apartment....yeah not gonna happen. My new job is starting to stress me and I am nervous I won't be successful or worse I just won't like it. I've even questioned moving all together. So while I'm trying not to drown in these feelings I am comforted by watching this movie from my childhood. This movies that states that all girls are princesses.

It is empowering. Stating that being a princess is more an internal mindset than an external title of status. So while I may have to work every single day for the rest of my life that does not mean that I am not a princess. I am a princess without needing a prince to be one. I have a man but he does not define the princess in me. Similarly the girls in this movie transcend as princesses on their own. Even the maid (slave) Becky was a princess in this movie because she BELIEVED she was (a princess) and that she was worth more.

The movie is also about standing up for what you believe in. When the main character a little girl who has spent a lot of her life in India suddenly finds herself living under the tyranny of a cruel headmistress at a boarding school she doesn't just submit to her will. She stands up for what she believes in and empowers all of those around her. Even after her father was killed in the war and she too was forced to enter into a life of servitude she still believed that she and all girls were princesses "even snotty two-faced bullies".

 I hope that one day I have a little princess of my own to share this message and movie with.

So until then I encourage YOU, my readers who never comment (jerks) to go out and be princesses.

Introducing a Lil Chaos

So yesterday I had a plan. That plan was to deviate from my normal PLAN or style of blogging and start a new (well old) way of blogging.

BUT

I told no one of this plan mainly cuz I was just blogging from pure emotion and it just flowed it just came. Well I should have listened better to the Heath Ledger as the Joker in The Dark Knight when he said the following quote.

You know… You know what I’ve noticed? Nobody panics when things go “according to plan.” Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it’s all “part of the plan.” But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds!

Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I’m an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It’s fair!

So when I was blogging my happy go lucky blog that felt shallow to me nobody panicked. Because it was part of the plan they knew about. But when I said I was going to start venting and said somethings that were not part of the plan then chaos was introduced. Suddenly my blogging is unacceptable and a problem. Specifically my posting the blog on social media. Despite the fact that I pretty much have posted EVERY SINGLE POST on multiple social media outlets. I write so other people can read it to. Part of it is my EGO but mainly I'm searching for understanding. Maybe there is someone out there who understands how I feel or even feels the same. As a human we want to feel validated...I am no different.

BUT

I can understand how and why the blogs can be upsetting. Nobody wants to be seen in a negative light to the public...well except maybe Chris Brown and he has nothing to do with this blog. So I guess I just won't blog anymore. Blogging without sharing feels like writing a diary and I don't want to do that. I want to share experiences both good AND bad.  But they aren't just my experiences to share and I guess its only right that I respect that when there are other people involved. But still it feels like I'm getting the short end of this particular stick.

Venting

Unfortunately much like a pressure cooker, I internalize a lot of things.

So I decided to blog to rant and rave and vent about what i had to say.

Most of my venting focused on my relationship at the time...

Then that relationship died...

And I felt enlightened.

So I was all I will create a NEW positive blog.

Thus eradicating my outlet for venting.

Another deterrent to my venting is my unhealthy concern about what other people think.

My unrelenting desire to be liked, has spilled over and I want to be a people pleaser with my blog.

Even a novice like me knows this is a blogging no-no.

You have to blog for yourself and NOBODY else.

An associate of mine has a blog and he tends to blog when he is upset. Blogging is a healthy outlet for him to release frustrations and i'm jealous that blogging is no longer that for me.

I need my blogs to be more like THAT.

More devil may care. It's my blog Imma write what the HELL I want!

So yeah I am going to work on that...

One way would be to post more the blogs I write.

Surprise! Surprise!

While it may look like I haven't written anything in over month. I actually have written about two complete posts and a couple of mini posts.

Well no more Mrs. Nice Girl ( I hope) I'm gonna get back to my roots and back to keeping it real!

...I Hope