Thursday, June 20, 2013

Locked in a Barren WasteLand Turned To Stone

(I am still working on deciding how emotional and real I want to get with my blogs so don't be surprised if you see this one disappear lol)

I have a concern. What if I have nothing left to give. What if I have spent all my passion and fire on past relationships. When something upsets me in a relationship or when we have arguments I am stone. As if I have stared into the eyes of the gorgon Medusa. I don't bring up my own personal grievances or inquire about alluded grievances I myself am committing. 

Even when I am baited with things that would normally drive me bat shit crazy, I do and say nothing. Previously I would rant, rave, yell, cuss and shout. I use to gossip and vent with girlfriends and LS's (even my work family used to get a piece of the Jenna drama) . Now no one knows. Not even me what the hell is going on. I just feel emptiness when there should be ire. After a relationship of constant daily yelling and fighting maybe I have nothing left in me. Maybe we have a quota of how much we can fight or try in a relationship and mine has simply been reached. I believe that fights, arguments, discussions etc... are natural in relationships like growing pains. Of course if all you do is shutdown no compromises or understandings into your partner can be reached. Instead of empathy I've been emoting apathy...

Communication is key as they say. Without communicating I know that I can not unlock the door that leads from barren wastelands of failed relationships to the utopian paradise of a successful one.

Until then I am doomed to be locked away under stone.
How do you feel about fights in relationships?

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