Monday, June 3, 2013

Body Image Catastrophe

I was instructed to drink this 32 oz all fruit juice in 30 mins to "flush" out my system
I am 5'6 and over 150 lbs. The heaviest I have been in my entire life. And I can NOT stand it. I obsess with how much I hate my body and yet I do very little to change it. Last October I joined a gym and lost a little over 10 lbs. Since then I steadily but surely put the weight right back on. Now 3 days until my big Vegas trip I am foolishly starving myself and doing "3 day cleansing diets".

 I know it is absurd but I just don't feel sexy. And who goes to Vegas not feeling sexy??

Bigger women claim they would kill to look like me, while at the same time I would kill to have someone else's body. It is a never ending cycle. When I was 10 lbs. lighter I was actually pleased with weight for the first time ever.

The funny thing is when I was 136 lbs. in high school I would always say I was fat! Now I can't even imagine being that small again!

Aging has not been a friend to my metabolism. But also I have become a major stress eater (and a stress drinker but we aren't talking about that). The real world is hella stressful and my coping strategy has been flawed. Instead of turning to cardio to deal with stress I have turned to carbs (mmmmmmm pasta).

I know my boyfriend, coworker, sister, mother, and others are tired of hearing me gripe and complain about my weight so now I'm turning to who ever reads my blogs. Anyone else hate their body and yet finds themselves unmotivated to lose the weight?

1 comment:

  1. This is my daily struggle. In high school I was a size 8 on my cycle and a 6 most days and thought I was fat so I can def relate. It is never ending until you decide to make changes and even then you have to stick with THE decisions. I know it is all in personal choice but your not fat you look great!!!


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