Maybe it's Valentine's Day right around the corner, or my sister's impending engagement, or the romantic turn a friendship of mine is taking much to my general excitement, but love and dating have been on my mind a lot lately. The dynamics of dating and relationships in general from real life to television are drastically changing. Roles are swapping and evolving.
I just watched an episode of The New Normal and a man was breastfeeding his child (with the help
of a device).
The widely popular TV show Scandal glorifies the position of being "the other woman".
Older women are dating younger men and dating multiple at once is becoming increasingly more acceptable.
My sister and her boyfriend have decided to get engaged. Like together they decided. She has seen the ring and I am pretty sure she knows the proposal is coming on Valentine's Day . Its nontraditional but again times are changing. Pre-planning getting engaged maybe more practical. At least he doesn't have to worry about her saying no!
All of the love on television as well as my living vicariously through my sister is making think about my future and what I want out of a future relationship and future husband. If I am completely honest with myself I am a hopeless romantic in a completely irrational way. I want us to have passionate all consuming love. I want us to be the best part of each other's day. I want us to be unable to keep our hands off each other. The mistress on Scandal stated that she wanted desperate painful all consuming love. That is why she turned down a perfectly acceptable non married man's marriage proposal knowing that he could make her happy. Because the love she felt for him lacked that passion.
SO that's what I want the crazy love, but most importantly I want someone who loves me crazy back.
Practical me that has been through the pain, triumphs, ups, and downs of love or delusions of love knows that there is more to love than just passion. Falling passionately in love with someone who isn't right for you will never make you happy.
I am a weird individual. But I love me. And I want someone who likes me as I am. Often times we get into relationships with pre-planned ideas of how we will change this person.Well change is inevitable but you can't change anyone. Life changes us. Like ocean waves eroding the land. It molds us makes us stronger and eventually better.
The third ingredient in what I want in a future relationship is stability. Relationships involve money their is no way around it. It should not be about one person taking care of the other. I believe somewhere in the bible it mentions being equally yoked. That should be the standard we strive toward.
So find someone who makes you feel passionate, who you love quirks and all, and who fits economically. AND don't settle when you only have some of the ingredients. You need them all.
While I may never the find the man who will break out in song and confess his love to me or let me have a musical as a wedding, I will wait for the man who will sit through Pitch Perfect with me and while he may not admit it.....enjoys it.